Rooftop Stripping
by Kiyamasho
Summary: Patrolling Gotham had never been so boring. So when Starfire and Batgirl appear while Nightwing is on duty he's finally given a chance to have some fun. Too bad for the two members of the Bat family, Starfire's version of fun is skewed. CRACK FIC.


**Hey guys! I actually started this fic back in April and stumbled upon it last night. Since it was nearly complete and I had no internet I decided to finish. This oneshot was born as a challenge. A challenge to do a one shot featuring starxnightwingxbabs and the situation stripping on a rooftop. I am not responsible for what happens to your brain while reading this.**

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Dick Grayson was bored. He was seated on top of one of the rooftops in Gotham contemplating committing a crime and framing someone else just to release himself from his boredom. He sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. Batman would be less than amused if he did something like that...He shrugged and stood. It was better than sitting here like a bro—someone tackling him into the floor interrupted his train of thought.

"DICK, I MEAN ROB..I MEAN NIGHTWING I HAVE FOUND YOU!"

Dick groaned and looked down to see wild red hair. Starfire rubbed her cheek against his chest before pushing herself away and smiling up at him.

"Starfire? What are you doing here?

She grabbed his hand and floated up, pulling both of them up off the ground. "I have come to do the visit."

Dick straightened. "That's nice of you Star, but I'm kind of busy making sure that Gotham's streets are safe from crime." His words went over her head as she leaned forward and gave him a bone crushing hug.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Barbara Gordan's voice came from behind the crushed man.

With superhuman strength Dick shoved Starfire away and whirled to face his girlfriend. She was dressed in her batgirl suit and her arms were crossed across her chest.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" Dick hoped his voice didn't sound squeaky with guilt.

"BARBARA!" Starfire launched herself forward and latched onto Barbara. Once the human girl managed to detach herself from the alien's arms she laughed.

"I came to visit my boyfriend on his rounds. I guess that wasn't necessary..."

Barbara cast a look at Starfire. She knew there was nothing between the alien and her boyfriend but she couldn't help feeling jealous. Starfire was drop dead gorgeous and only someone with out eyeballs couldn't tell.

Dick walked over to Barbara and slipped his arm around her waist and tugged her against him. "Don't say that babe." He paused to kiss her head. "I'm happy my best girl came to see me."

Starfire nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! The more the merrier!" She threw her arms around the couple and hugged them both tightly.

"What are you doing here Starfire?" Barbara wheezed the words out and managed to pull herself out of their arms and cocked her head in curiosity.

Starfire released Dick, who was turning blue, and floated up in the air. "I have come to do the visit. Perhaps tomorrow you and I can visit the place of shopping!"

Dick rubbed the bruises starting to form on his arms and said dryly, "That sounds like a lot of fun."

Clapping her hands together Starfire said, "Speaking of fun Cyborg and Beast Boy have taught me the most entertaining game!"

Barbara and Dick exchanged looks. Cyborg and Beast Boy were notorious for teaching Starfire crazy things and passing them off as normal earth customs.

"What kind of game Starfire?" Unconsciously Dick stepped protectively in front of Barbara.

Starfire smiled brilliantly.

"Rock, Paper Scissors!"

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Once more Barbara and Dick exchanged glances, this time as if to say _We over reacted for nothing. _

Barbara smiled back at Starfire. "You didn't know how to play before? It's actually kind of fun."

Starfire nodded enthusiastically and spun. "Yes! I was most thrilled to find how simple this game was. Most earth games confuse me."

"Well maybe we could play a game now," Dick suggested as he cast a glance over the city. Still no crime.

Those words were a mistake. Starfire immediately latched onto him and Barbara winced as she heard Dick's bones crack. "Oh Dick! That would be most wonderful!" Starfire let him go and he gulped air in.

"We can't play if I'm dead Star! You need to control your strength more with us normal humans!"

Starfire's reply was to ignore his words and grab onto his arm and Barbara's. She pulled them forward towards her and said brightly, "Alright let us begin!"

The three of them took deep breathes and almost in unison moved their hands up and down. "Rock, Paper, Scissors!"

Dick cursed to himself. He had done rock while both girls had chosen paper. He shrugged. "Looks like you two win this round. Let's go again."

"Yes but first you must remove some of your clothing."

"Oh right I almost forg—wait what?"

"You must remove your clothing if we are to continue."

Barbara cleared her throat. "Starfire...are we playing STRIP Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

Starfire's head bobbed up and down. "Yes! I had forgotten the strip. So please Dick, strip so that we may continue."

"You have got to be kidding me! Starfire I am NOT stripping!" Dick looked pleading at Barbara who was fighting a smile. "Baby, tell her I'm not going to strip."

"I'm sorry Dick...rules are rules." Barbara dissolved into a fit of giggles at the look on Dick's face.

Dick glared from Starfire's innocent expression to Barbara's not so innocent one. It would be stupid to resist any longer. With a sigh he pulled off a glove and tossed it on the floor. "You two are going to wish you didn't make me do this!"

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15 minutes later found an almost naked Starfire against a clothed Barbara and a half naked Dick.

"AWW DAMMIT!" Dick's frustrated shout echoed out on the rooftop has he lost the latest round. Giving the two laughing girls a disgusted look he bent over and shucked his boxers off. Thank goodness he usually wore a pair of briefs beneath them. An incident with the Joker had taught him you could never be too prepared with how many pairs of underwear you wore.

Barbara took the boxers from him and tossed them behind her. She slid her eyes down Dick's body with a leering expression and Starfire's eyes grew wide with wonder as she stared at him. The alien girl said, sounding slightly breathless, "Dick...you have a most wonderful looking pekinisher." Dick blushed bright red at the reaction of the two women. The way they were staring at him made Dick feel like a slab of meat on display in the butcher's window.

Rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably Dick snapped, "Alright you two can stop staring at me like that. Are we going to continue or not?"

The two girls nodded and after a brief pause the three of them threw down their hands. Both Dick and Barbara played Paper while Starfire threw Rock. The Tamaranian girl pouted and with a sigh her hands drifted up. She had lost the gloves, boots, and skirt of her outfit earlier in the game. Now she was clothed in nothing but a lacy black thong and the top half of her normal attire.

Sighing once more to show her displeasure at how things had turned out for her Starfire began to unfasten her top while Barbara and Dick looked on with smug expressions. As Starfire's brilliant cleavage began to spill out from the confines of the tight top a voice thundered out from the shadows behind them.

"_WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" _

Starfire squealed in surprise and toppled out of the air. Dick immediately recognized Batman's voice and after turning as white as his briefs scrambled to grab his clothing from their random positions on the roof. Barbara's cheeks turned pink but having won every game she wasn't too worried.

Batman came gliding out of the shadows, his normally stoic face pinched in anger. "Do you realize all the crimes that are being committed right now? If you three weren't so busy playing...playing games you might actually be doing something useful with your time!"

A look of disappointment crossed Starfire's face as she stood up. "Does this mean that we may not continue our Strip game?"

A muscle in the side of Batman's face twitched. "No."

Starfire sighed and grabbing her skirt she slowly pulled it up. She then paused and said hopefully, "Perhaps you wish to join us, then you co-!"

"I said NO Starfire! Now hurry up and dress yourself!"

Batman then turned his glare on Barbara who was watching Dick get dressed. Sensing the look she flushed red and said feebly, "I'll, uh, catch up with you guys later." She turned and disappeared.

Starfire left promising to return and finish the game later and Dick disappeared as soon as his body suit snapped over his shoulders.

Batman stood there in silence for several seconds before a soft feminine voice floated out from behind him. "I thought those three would never leave." Cat Woman slid out of the shadows and sauntered over to Batman before draping her arms around his neck. Automatically Batman's arm clamped around her waist.

A growl slid from Batman's throat and turned his glare down at the woman in his arms. "We could have been well into...well you know if you hadn't decided you wanted to use _this_ roof."

Cat Woman smiled sexily up at him and rubbing a thumb across Batman's jaw she said lazily, "Can I help it if I like to see you terrorizing them? It's such a turn on. Now come here."

Any further conversation was put on hold as the two of them made up for lost time.

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**hahaha I had a lot of fun writing it and reading it. I hope you guys did too! Please leave a review! **


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